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The courage to SHINE, even if it makes The Patriarchy 'uncomfortable'

I want to tell you a story about 3 things:

- The haircut that changed everything
- My favorite Marianne Williamson quote
- & a dancing fairy

    I know it sounds like I’m setting up some kind of punchline, but all three have to do with to what it means to truly step into your feminine power, let go of judgment, and have the courage to shine your light FULL BLAST.

    Let’s start with the fairy.


    Whenever I need a serious dose of joy, I go dancing.


    It’s a relatively new thing for me...kind of. I used to dance a lot when I was a kid, and even competed into my teens and twenties. Then, “life happened” and I didn’t really have the time or the space to go dancing like I used to.


    Cut to now: my life has opened up in the most amazing ways because I freed myself of negative people and energy and I made a decision to fully step into my feminine power. I got back into dancing as a way to tap into that side of myself and I’m totally loving every minute.


    Last week I was at this dance gathering called 5 Rhythms where the ONLY goal is just to move your body in a way that feels good and authentic to you. As I danced, I began to observe a few others in the room; there was one woman moving in an incredibly sensual, slow and powerful way. One guy was super-charged in his movements, almost frenetic in his energy.

    And finally, there was this tiny, beautiful, sprite-ly girl flitting around the room like a real-life FAIRY.


    This girl just RADIATED light. I was totally obsessed with her. She danced with such joy, so free from judgment, fully herself. And that’s such an amazing gift: to be able to find those moments where you are TRULY 100% YOU. Just pure freaking LIGHT.


    Later, as I was thinking about this girl and how amazing it is to see women embracing their own style of sensuality and power, I was reminded that no matter how strong or confident you are, it isn’t always easy to stay in that judgment-free mindset.

    I was reminded of this woman I met at a Women in Business event who told me the most gut-wrenching story that has stayed with me for years.


    She had just been promoted to a big fancy title in her corporate firm. Upon her receiving the promotion, one of her male colleagues pulled her aside and strongly suggested she cut her long, flowing hair in order to “be taken seriously” in her new role. So she went to the salon...and she did it. And she immediately regretted it.


    She told me that in that moment she knew that she was dimming her light in order to fit the Patriarchy’s picture of what she “should” look like. She literally erased part of her feminine beauty in order to “fit in” with a traditionally male environment and role.


    But of course, we as women have been conditioned to operate in this way. We’ve been trained by society for our whole lives to walk the tightrope between stepping into our feminine power and making sure other people feel comfortable.

    But, as Marianne Williamson says in my favorite quote of hers, “there is nothing ‘enlightened’ about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine…”


    All this to say that I support, encourage, and empower you to choose to express your FULL FEMININE SELF. Release your fear of judgment from yourself and others. Step completely into the beautiful, sensual bliss that is YOU.


    For good measure, here is the full quote from Marianne Williamson. I hope it inspires you to SHINE…

    "Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.

    Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.

    It is our light, not our darkness

    That most frightens us.

    We ask ourselves,

    Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?

    Actually, who are you not to be?

    Your playing small

    Does not serve the world.

    There's nothing enlightened about shrinking

    So that other people won't feel insecure around you.

    We are all meant to shine,

    As children do.

    And as we let our own light shine,

    We unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.

    As we're liberated from our own fear,

    Our presence automatically liberates others."

    -Marianne Williamson, A Return To Love

    XO, Rejoy

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